Who Pays for What?

The most touchy and contentious subject for any wedding is, of course, money. However, it's also the most necessary...

The most touchy and contentious subject for any wedding is, of course, money. However, it's also the most necessary, as it will dictate how and when you will make the decisions for the rest of the wedding planning process.

Once your budget is set, you need to determine who is financially responsible for each aspect of the wedding. It's a sticky discussion, but it'll make things much easier on you and your family if everything is decided and out in the open from the start.

In the past, the bride's family picked up the tab. Nowadays, this isn't so much the case. Circumstances are different. Parents aren't necessarily made up of one mother and one father, couples are getting married later in life and weddings aren't getting any cheaper!

Here is a "traditional" look at the financials, followed by a more "modern" take on who pays for what... 

TRADITIONAL ROLES

THE BRIDE'S FAMILY
*    Stationery, including invitations, programmes and menus
*    Wedding transportation for the wedding party and family
*    Ceremony costs, including venue hireage, flowers, music, celebrant, display items etc.
*    Bridal bouquets and floral arrangements for the ceremony and reception
*    Reception costs, including venue hireage, catering, beverages, wedding cake, entertainment, favours, accessories etc.
*    Photographer and/or videographer
*    Bride's wedding dress and accessories, and bridesmaids dresses

THE GROOM'S FAMILY
*    The Rehearsal Dinner costs, including venue hireage (where applicable), catering, beverages, entertainment, accessories etc.
*    The groom's attire and attire for his groomsmen and ushers
*    Travel and accommodation for the groom's family
*    Corsages and buttonholes for the parents

THE BRIDE
*    Her hair and makeup (and any other beauty treatments)
*    The Groom's ring
*    Gifts for her bridal party
*    A wedding gift for the Groom
*    Accommodation for bridesmaids who have travelled from out of town

THE GROOM
*    The Bride's engagement and wedding ring
*    The marriage licence
*    The fee for the celebrant
*    Gifts for his wedding party
*    The Bride's bouquet and buttonholes for the groomsmen
*    A wedding gift for the Bride
*    Accommodation for groomsmen who have travelled from out of town
*    The honeymoon

THE BRIDE AND GROOM
*    Gifts for the parents
*    Any other expenses that are over and above the original budget

MODERN ROLES

Here are a few modern takes to handling the wedding costs...

*    The Bride and Groom may decide to cover the financials themselves
*    The two families may decide to split the costs down the middle
*    The two families and the Bride and Groom may choose to each take a 1/3 of the costs...be wary though - this may mean that the two families assume they each get to invite a 1/3 of the guests!
*    The families may decide to pay for particular elements of the wedding - such as the venue hireage, the catering or the flowers
*    The families may each specifiy an amount they are willing to donate to the wedding fund, for the Bride and Groom to use as they see fit

You may also have a combination of traditional and modern. It is common for the bride's family to still cover the reception, the groom's family to pay for the rehearsal dinner, but the Bride and Groom may pay for all the attire, transportation and the "day after" BBQ.

It simply comes down to communicating with your family and making sure everyone is open and honest about how much and how little they plan to contribute to the wedding fund.