Ceremony Wannas PART 1

Pinky Agnew, a celebrant since 1996, shares some tips for a your Big Step ceremony - be it a wedding or a civil union. Here is the FIRST installment of "Ceremony Wannas".

The Choose To list includes everything else in your ceremony that isn't a Hafta (See the Ceremony Haftas tip for more information about the necessities). A ceremony may be structured in any way you wish, as long as the legalities are done correctly. 

Walking In 

• One or both parties may choose to make a "grand entrance". At a recent wedding, the groom came up the aisle first with his parents and supporters, as his favourite piece of music played. The bride than came in with her father and her attendants to another piece of music. 
• Some couples choose to walk in together, with or without attendants and supporters.
• Depending on the venue, some couples may already be there together, welcoming their guests.  They may choose not to have a "grand entrance", but simply gather guests together around them. 
• Having decided on a "grand entrance", you then decide how this is to be done. A lot of Have To myths have evolved around who comes in, in which order. Bridesmaids first, or bride? My answer to this is, "It depends on whether you watch English television or American television." The English tradition had the bride arriving first, usually on her father's left arm, as her bridesmaids and flower girls followed behind her, sometimes carrying her train. You may have seen those aerial television shots of Princess Diana walking up the aisle of St Paul's Cathedral, her huge train billowing in the hands of her attendants. The more recent American tradition has the attendants - bridesmaids - walking in first, followed by the bride. If you choose to do this, make sure the bride doesn't start her walk in until the bridesmaids have arrived at the ceremony area. This way, the groom enjoys an unimpeded view of his beautiful bride walking towards him - if she's too close behind her attendants, he'll just see the top of her head! 

"Giving Away"

• In all my years as a celebrant, I've never had a bride request me to ask her parent "Who gives this woman?"  Modern women don't see themselves as being "given away" by anyone.  They see the role as someone representing the family, who is there to give their support.  Usually I ask the supporter,  "X, on behalf of your family, do you give your blessing (or sometimes "support"), as A marries B today?"  
• Often she will be accompanied by both parents or by step-parents.  One woman walked down the aisle with her adoptive father on one side and her birth father on the other.    Sometimes it may be the bride's child, or a sibling. 

Pinky Agnew (MNZM)
Celebrant

Check out Ceremony Wannas PART 2 and PART 3 for Pinky's take on the rest of the ceremony.