Ceremony Wannas PART 2

Pinky Agnew, a celebrant since 1996, shares some tips for a your Big Step ceremony - be it a wedding or a civil union. Here is the SECOND installment of "Ceremony Wannas".

Here is the SECOND installment of the Ceremony Wannas.

Celebrant's Address

• The next part of the ceremony replaces what in a church setting would be the "sermon" or the "service".  I call it "the celebrant's address".  The celebrant would usually start by welcoming guests, and may make special mention of people who've travelled a long way, or made a special effort to be there, such as an elderly relative.
• Then the celebrant would talk about this couple's relationship, perhaps telling the story of how they met, what it is that they love about each other, and what this ceremony means to them.  It is crucial that the couple discuss this part of the ceremony in detail with the celebrant.  Whether the celebrant writes the ceremony, or does a "cut-and-paste" of pre-written thoughts about marriage, it is essential that the couple see a copy of the completed ceremony in plenty of time beforehand.  This prevents any possible mistakes in names, or the celebrant saying something the couple don't feel is appropriate or relevant to them. 
• The couple should feel free to write this address themselves.
• Readings - poems, prose excerpts, prayers - may be included in the celebrants' address. It's wise to select readings yourselves and ask someone to read them. It's a nice way to include people who are special to you but not otherwise included in the ceremony.  Make sure the celebrant brings spare copies of the readings. 
• Songs or hymns may also be included.  Make sure that someone who is a confident singer can lead guests in singing and that words are supplied. 

Vows

• After the celebrant's address, the couple will be asked to exchange vows.  This will be the subject of a separate Pinky's Big Step Tips.  Here I'll just say this - the vows are at the heart of your ceremony. Think through well beforehand what you will be saying to each other, and how you will say it. Don't leave this up to the celebrant. These are vows you're making for a lifetime, and they'll last longer than anything else you do that day. Make them count! 

Rings

• If you choose to exchange rings, again give it plenty of thought. Who should bring the rings forward?  Sometimes couples ask their mothers to do this. Others have had their dog bring them over in a bag around the neck. Another couple had their baby son carry the rings in the little sporran he wore with his kilt. Will you say vows as you exchange rings? If you don't want rings, is there something else you want to exchange as a token of your commitment, such as a piece of pounamu, bracelets or a piece of family jewellery?   

Declaration

• The celebrant will declare you married, or "partners in civil union".  Interestingly, this declaration isn't one of the legal requirements, although most celebrants feel strongly that this is part of their solemnisation of the couple's vows. 

The Kiss

• The celebrant usually invites the couple to "seal their vows with a kiss", or something similar. If you feel this is too cheesy, or public displays of affection aren't for you, let the celebrant know so you're not put on the spot! 

Pinky Agnew (MNZM)
Celebrant