Ceremony Wannas PART 3

Pinky Agnew, a celebrant since 1996, shares some tips for a your Big Step ceremony - be it a wedding or a civil union. Here is the THIRD installment of "Ceremony Wannas".

Here is the THIRD installment of the Ceremony Wannas.

Signing the Register

• More accurately but less romantically, you are signing Copy of Particulars of Marriage or Copy of Particulars of Civil Union. 
  
• Have the documents set up nearby, and make sure there are two pens - black ink is nicer than blue. 
• If outdoors, the documents should be secure from the wind or protected from rain.  I usually Blu-tak them into an attractive, big, official-looking book, or you can secure them with rocks or a paperweight. 
• The couple, witnesses and the celebrant are parties to a legal document, so don't wander off during the signing. The signing is complete when the celebrant has signed. The celebrant will ensure one copy is given to the couple and the other is sent to Births, Deaths & Marriages.  Because witnesses must print their full names and addresses, and everything has to be done twice, this can take about four to five minutes, so if you have music, make sure it's long enough. Some celebrants have the witnesses fill in their details in advance, but this is frowned on by BDM as these are legal documents.
• Witnesses can be anyone - not necessarily your attendants. Their names will be forever on your document and seen be generations to come, so choose people who are special to you - mothers, siblings, grandparents or close friends. There is no age limit, but they must understand what they are doing. 

Finishing the Ceremony

• After the signing of the register, the music winds down, the couple and witnesses return to where they were, and the celebrant calls everyone's attention again.  The celebrant may finish by offering their own good wishes, or introducing a reading or prayer.
• The celebrant hands the couple their copy of the register, and the couple should then go forward - either to walk back up the aisle, or to lead their guests to refreshments or photos, or to a place where they can be hugged and congratulated.
• Some couples like the celebrant to "announce" them as Mr and Mrs So-and-So.  This isn't always appropriate, so discuss this with the celebrant and let them know your preference.     

Remember, you should put at least as much thought and planning into your ceremony as you do into the reception. Be proactive, and don't assume the celebrant will do things the way you expect.  Don't assume the venue will set things up the way you imagined.  Check. Ask questions.  Write down a list of things you do and don't want to happen during your ceremony. Think back to weddings and civil unions you've been to - what went wrong?  What was great about it? Ask friends to tell you stories about their own ceremonies, and what they'd like to do over again. 

And always ask that golden question - what do we want?  It's your wedding. Keep it that way. 

Pinky Agnew (MNZM)
Celebrant