Choosing a Celebrant

Pinky Agnew, a celebrant since 1996, shares some tips on the all important decision of who will officiate your Big Step ceremony - be it a wedding or a civil union.

Whenever I meet with a couple to discuss their wedding or civil union ceremony, I ask them to tell me about weddings they've been to, and what they liked or didn't like about them. All too often they complain about the celebrant - "We couldn't hear them, they were late or they didn't organise the guests." 

The ceremony is at the heart of your day. It's easy to get caught up with peripheral things - the frocks, the cake, the music.  But at the centre of your day is - or should be - the ceremony. And the key to that ceremony is the right celebrant. 

If you choose to marry in a church, usually the priest or minister officiates. Likewise, if you choose a registry office, the registrar would officiate. 

Independent wedding and civil union celebrants in New Zealand are licensed by the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages. When you apply for the legal documents for your ceremony, you will be asked the name of your celebrant, who will then be given the authority to officiate your ceremony. 

Book a celebrant early - at the same time as the venue and photographers. A good celebrant will only officiate at one or two ceremonies a day, and they book up fast. 

Ask around your friends and family members. Note down the good and the bad ones - you want to make sure you know the difference! Especially ask if they could be heard, and if the words they spoke were appropriate to the couple.  

Browse wedding websites. 
Births, Deaths and Marriages have lists of registered celebrants in your area.

Make a short list of celebrants you think might be right for you. The initial contact can be by email or phone. Have a set of questions ready.
1.    Are you available on our date?
2.    Are you able to travel to our venue, and have you worked there before? 
3.    Can you tell me a bit about how you work with couples?
4.    What fee do you charge, and what does it cover?  Do you require a deposit? 
5.    Are we able to have a quick preliminary meeting with you prior to booking you?

If you are a resident overseas, this will be done online. Ask your celebrant if they use Skype. This is a great way to have a preliminary meeting to see if they suit you. Otherwise, consider delegating the search to someone over here who you really trust will find the right person.

At the preliminary short meeting, usually in a local cafe, have some questions ready. You will want to know a bit more about how they work. 
1.    Describe more fully how you work with couples, and what we can expect.
2.    Do you write the wedding ceremony, and do you send us a copy of this well in advance? If you don't write it, do you help us with resources? 
3.    Are you able to be heard at the venue we've chosen, or will you need a sound system?  This will be an extra cost to you, so you need to know. 
4.    Do you have a rehearsal?  A good celebrant will always have a rehearsal - this is really important for everything to run smoothly on the big day.  

This coffee meeting is the chance for you both to meet the celebrant face to face. It's important that you feel comfortable with your celebrant, and they with you. 

Once you've made your decision and booked your celebrant, you should have a lengthier meeting with them, usually in your own home. It is at this meeting that you will work out what will happen at your ceremony. Make your wishes known to the celebrant, tell them who will be involved as attendants and readers, advise them of what special potential problems there could be and anything else that's relevant. Tell the celebrant what kind of "feel" you want for your ceremony - informal, formal, romantic, quirky or fun. The celebrant should also run through the legal requirements of your ceremony. Keep in touch with your celebrant, and let them know if circumstances change, especially times. 

Celebrants set their own fees, and these vary quite a lot. The fee usually, but not always, reflects the kind of service they offer. The fee can be anywhere between a small amount to cover costs to over a thousand dollars. Always check prices beforehand. What exactly does the cost cover and is a deposit required? Does it include travel? Meetings? Remember too: the celebrant's fee only covers their services. It does not cover the fees charged by Births, Deaths and Marriages for your documentation.