Your Wedding Speech - 3 ACTIONS to Avoid or Eliminate

Bruce of WeddingSpeeches.co.nz is an expert speech writer and coach - here he provides you with some excellent tips you can use to impress your wedding audience.

What a day to look forward to...being asked to speak at a wedding is an honour, a privilege and a pleasure. Unfortunately, it can also be a little nerve-racking. Whether you're the groom, the best man, the father of the bride or the bride, making a speech can have optimal impact with the right help and thought.

As your wedding speech should be very personal, and its content appropriate to the person or people being acknowledged, there are a handful of things that you should consider avoiding or eliminating...

1. Don't embarrass the bride or any of the guests.

It's the bride's big day, and everything should be aimed at making it memorable...for the right reasons.

A speaker may be tempted to get carried away and push a few boundaries. Of course weddings should be happy, joyful occasions, with plenty of humour and laughter - but if things are pushed too far, the speaker may end up regretting it.

"If in doubt, leave it out." Avoid anything in dubious taste. The point of a speech is to entertain - not to shock or offend. Even more, some things are also best left in the past.

Consider your audience. It will most likely be made up of people of various ages and backgrounds - people who are friends and people who have never met before. Very rarely will you know everyone, and even though adults sometimes find certain jokes, language and assertions funny, they may feel uncomfortable with it if they're in the presence of others. If in doubt, have someone else check your speech for double meanings and acceptability.

2. Don't wing it.

Weddings are very special occasions, requiring a large amount of planning and input from a variety of people. If you are asked to speak, the effort should be similar to that put into the rest of the day. Spend some time perfecting what you will say and how you will say it.

Adequate time spent on preparation has a number of other benefits:

• Avoid a last minute rush
• Gives you the opportunity to perfect your speech
• Helps you improve timing and pace
• Gives you the opportunity to include what you want
• Helps you remember things and enables you to deliver in a natural style
• Improves your confidence
• Gives you time to test any material prior to delivery
• Helps you become familiar with your speech and the flow of delivery
• Gives you time to seek help or feedback from others
• Helps you perfect your body language

3. Keep it relevant and don't ramble.

There's nothing worse than listening to a speaker who goes on and on about stories and anecdotes that are inconsequential or irrelevant. Start your wedding speech preparation off by figuring out what the real purpose of your speech will be and any expectations your bride and groom may have.  Your speech can then be built to serve that purpose - i.e. the father of the bride's speech should include words about his daughter and a welcome to his new son-in-law.

Some speakers fall into the trap of overloading their speeches with jokes and stories, losing sight of the true purpose of their speech or toast. While humour plays a major part of most wedding speeches, true stories are best...and speakers should always endeavour to achieve a balance of sincerity, stories and humour.

And how long should you speak? I suggest 3-5 minutes, with a maximum of 7 minutes. This is a general rule, as other factors may need to be considered, but keep it as short as possible while still providing maximum impact.

Final words: ensure your speech "hits the mark" and is great to listen to!