Who do I invite to our engagement party?

Who should I invite to our engagement party - all the same people we want at our wedding? I'd like my workmates at our engagement party, but I'm not quite sure we can afford to have them all at our wedding. Not sure what to do?

Anon, Hamilton

Who do I invite to our engagement party?

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Erin & Lauren answers...

Well Anon, Lauren and I have two different opinions on this one.

Here's my opinion...

An invitation to the engagement party should foreshadow a wedding invitation. In other words, try not to invite anyone who will not be invited to the wedding.

If the shoe was on the other foot - if you were invited to an engagement party but not to the wedding - would your feelings be a little bruised?

In saying this, it is dependent on your situation and size of your event.

Here are FOUR options.

  • Get ahead of the game and work out your official wedding guest list now. If you know your venue, you'll know the numbers you can work with - invite your entire List A to your engagement party.
  • Keep your engagement party small, inviting only those family members and close friends you are sure will be invited to the big day. This way you don't run the risk of hurting someone's feelings if you need to change your mind about the final tally down the line.
  • Invite EVERYONE and ANYONE to the engagement party, making it very clear on the invitation that you are planning a very small, intimate wedding - and therefore wanted to share your recent engagement in a big way.
  • If someone else is hosting your engagement party, and it is well known that you are planning a smaller, intimate wedding, feel free to allow them to invite whomever. They know your big day is going to be small, so you shouldn't worry about hurting anyone's feelings.

    • And here's Lauren's opinion...

    I think it's absolutely fine to invite people to your engagement party who may not be on the wedding guest list.

    We invited loads of people to our engagement party who weren't invited to the wedding...I know a lot of people who have done the same...and I have been invited to engagement parties but not to the weddings.

    The trick is to say in your invitation (whether printed, emailed, spoken etc), that you're unfortunately unable to invite everyone to the wedding, which is why you are having a big engagement. It is your way of still celebrating with everyone that is important to you.

    So, unfortunately Anon, you'll have to decide which opinion works for you (don't tell us though - we don't want the other to feel like a loser J). Just think about how these workmates will react - whether they will take it personally that they won't receive a wedding invitation, or whether it's no skin of their noses. I think with some crafty wording, you can manage the first!

    Below is another Ask the Experts RESPONSE that may also be of help...

    More information

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