Invitation wording for the beginning and end?

Mands , South Island

Erin answers...

I have to be honest with you, Mands. I recommend you either invite them to the ceremony OR the entire reception...not all of one and part of another. The "dance" is the tail end of the reception, and therefore could potentially send the wrong message to these guests. It can be both awkward and inconvenient for people to have to fill the gap between the ceremony and the dance. Even more, if you are getting married in a remote location, chances are there will be little for them to do.

Something to think about: how many people are you considering for this partial invite? If it is less than 10, is it really worth making it potentially awkward for these friends/family? Can you make some budgetary adjustments in other areas so you can accommodate these guests and make it easier on everyone?

If it is more than 10, I suggest you opt for two sets of guests - ones that are invited to the entire wedding (ceremony and reception) and ones that are invited to the ceremony only. The difference in wording will be that the first invitation will include:

After the ceremony, please join us for dinner and dancing at Blah Blah.

OR

Reception to follow.

OR

Reception to follow at Blah Blah.

On the second invitation, do not include any of the above sentences. To make it transparent, you can even make a note on the second invite that says:

We look forward to sharing our ceremony with you.

OR

We invite you to witness our vows at Blah Blah...

If you would still like to invite these ceremony-only guests to the dance, make it a less formal invite. Send them each a personal email or phone them to say that while the reception is just for close friends and family, you would love it if they could join you for a dance or two from 10pm (or whenever you have the dancing scheduled). This way, they may feel like they are that much more special for having received this personal invitation to the extra event.