Do we have to do a first dance?

Charlotte, Wellington

Erin answers...

There is nothing compulsory about a wedding anymore, except the ceremony formalities outlined by Births, Deaths and Marriages - so please don't feel like you have to or are expected to do anything. It's your wedding...no one else's.

If you and your partner are not big dancers, there is no reason you should feel the need to get up in front of a room full of people and cut a rug!

So I've come up with a few alternatives to get your guests out of their seats:

1.    Have the MC announce to your guests that the DJ/band is about to start - and everyone is invited to dance off the meal they've just enjoyed. You may want to encourage particular people to start the trend, so others aren't afraid to be alone on the dance floor.
2.    Have your wedding party do the first dance in pairs - i.e. best man/maid of honour, bridesmaid 1/groomsman 1, bridesmaid 2/groomsman 2 each dance together. If you feel the desire, you could do it with them.
3.    Invite your parents to take the first dance - this will make them feel honoured and special.
4.    Announce to your guests that you will be doing a "rolling" first dance. You and your partner will start, and after 15 or so seconds, you separate and each grab a new partner from their seats. You then dance for another 15 or so seconds before you and your new dance partner split for new partners, and so on, and so on. This is a really fun first dance, and by the end of the song, the entire wedding should be on the dance floor!
5.    Invite the flower girl and pageboy to dance the first dance. This is a very cute option that will certainly win over your guests.

There's also the most obvious way to make the transition - clear the tables and push everyone out, so they've only got two choices - mingle or dance!