Do You Have Any Union Ceremony Ideas?

Matt, Tauranga

Erin answers...

Here's the idea behind the union ceremony. It's a symbolic, fairly modern ritual that demonstrates how the two of you are becoming "one". As each of you lights a candle, the two flames join to ignite one wick. As each of you pours a different colour of sand into one vase, the grains combine to create a new, single colour of sand.

The candle ceremony is the most traditional, commonly used in church weddings, while the sand ceremony is an alternative often used for beach weddings...where the wind and the salty air are not conducive to holding a flame!

Here are some other ideas you could incorporate into your ceremony that could symbolise your union.

Lock Box: This is a really cute idea that a friend recently had at her own wedding. Each of you writes a letter - it could describe your love for the other person, how the other makes you feel, your list of their best traits, your favourite memories etc. Your letters are each sealed in envelopes, which you bring to the ceremony. At a particular point during the service, maybe just after the vows, the celebrant tells your guests about the thought behind the letters and then places them in the box. Ideally, the idea is that on a special anniversary, on the day your first child is born, or maybe when the marriage is a bit unsteady, you will both agree to open the box and read the letters...to remind you of how much love you felt on that day and still feel for each other. After the celebrant tells your guests of the box's intention, you both help seal the box - whether with a latch, a nail or a padlock with a special combination. Be creative with the box, and if you want to add a little something extra, put in a bottle of wine, which you can drink when you finally open it.

Stone Ceremony: I came across this idea, which I think is quite nice as well. Each guest is given a small polished stone upon arrival on the day. The idea is that you were on different paths, but love brought you together and joined your paths into one. Each guest played a part in your path, helping in their own, unique way to bring you both to your wedding day. The celebrant may then ask your guests to make a wish before bringing their stone up, which they will each add to a container. Each of you will also have a stone, to symbolise your individual paths before they converged that day. You then each add your stone to the container, so you are both officially on one path, with one destination...and your friends and family are now joined through you too! 

Combining the Bouquets: This is an idea we had to create affordable bouquets, but the concept could make for a lovely union ceremony as well. On your invitation, ask your guests to bring their favourite flower to the wedding. During the ceremony, have the celebrant ask your guests to bring their flowers up to you. You will then have two bouquets that you can combine into one vase. This again symbolises the combination of both you and your family and friends. As each flower is unique, so too is the part they played in your life and your lives before that day. After the ceremony, consider drying the flowers yourselves or having them professionally dried.

Garland or Leis: Each of you may exchange a lei or garland of flowers to symbolise the joining together of you and your families on the day.

Wine: This is the perfect union ceremony for a vineyard wedding! Both of you pours wine into a larger glass, from which you then both take a sip.